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"You are going to be my guest for a while, dear Jessica. If you cooperate, it will go easy on you. If you do not, I can make your stay very difficult and painful."I saw her lips moving, but no words coming out, struggling with the right words, afraid to offend, but unsure of what was happening. "What do you want with me, I was always nice to you? Please let me go." I am in love with you Jessica. You are the most beautiful woman on this earth and I must have you for my own," I blurted out, wanting to hear it sounded aloud. I looked for a change of expression on her, but she just stared at me, a blank look on her face. "You will learn to love me as I love you. You will learn to enjoy are lovemaking."Shock on her face, her voice yelled out, "you're fuckin' crazy. I wouldn't fuck you for anything never mind loving you. You belong in the nut house." I could see the expression on her face that she realized quickly that this was not the response I was looking for. My face turned red,. The only "I'm sorry" that really matters, is the one deep inside of my heart, that I hope that you can feel, and hear when I talk to you. That feeling of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I'm cursed to live the life that your mom had mentioned, alone, and regretting not showing you how I truly felt.My life will never be whole again. I will continue to exist, probably for a very long time, but, I'll never feel as truly happy as I did. Three long years, is just the first steps into the life that I will lead. That life started June 17, 2011, the journey will never end. There may be moments of bliss, and happiness scattered in there, but, forever will I remember what I caused. I truly am so very sorry my sweet sweeth Kaitlyn, I pray that one day, you can forgive me. I'm not sure that you can, or will, and, if not, I do understand. If you do, or can, I'm eternally grateful to you. Either way, I'm glad, and proud to have shared in your life for as long as.
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